Spammen

Spammen een ergernis?

Iedere dag ontvang ik weer nieuwe aanbiedingen voor viagra, cialis en het verlengen van mijn piemeltje, je zou bijna denken dat ze me kennen. Gek wordt je ervan! Hoewel… Als je wat tijd over hebt, je je gevoel van irritatie weet te onderdrukken en je er geen bezwaar tegen hebt je creativiteit in een bodemloze put te storten dan kun je toch wel enig plezier beleven aan spam.

Hoe? Hieronder een voorbeeld. Bij de ontvangen mail denk je nog: zijn er echt nog mensen die zo ontzettend stom zijn dat ze hier intrappen? Vermoedelijk wel, ik win altijd prijzen in loterijen waar ik niet aan mee doe. En zijn er mensen die antwoord kunnen sturen dat nog dommer is dan de originele spammail? Natuurlijk, ik ben nooit te beroerd om een poging te wagen…

DHL Worldwide Express
Unit 6/7, Kingsway Interchange
11th Avenue
Team Valley Trading Estate
Gateshead, Tyne & Wear
NE11 0JY

Dear Esteemed Customer

We wish to re-confirm to you of your certified Bank Draft valued US$600,000.00 deposited by the Heritage International lottery Company here in UK in accordance with the United Kingdom Revenue Inland Commision for immediate delivery to your home destination. You are hereby requested to contact us (DHL COURIER/DELIVERY SERVICE), for onward processing and delivery of your package with us before the expiration of your certified bank draft.

For your information, the Governing board have paid for the Delivery(DHL Standard) Charges, Tax Clearance Certificate from the Inland Revenue office indicating that you certified bank draft is free from Drug/terrorism, and Money laundering or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country. Note that these funds are freely donated to you to meet with the objective of Human Growth, Educational and Community development in this year 2008.

However, you are directed to furnish us with GBP£ 250 only being Handcover Insurance Fee, this is our company's precautionary motive incase of demurrage.

Also you are requested to confirm to us your recent contact information to which your package would be delivered to; 1. Full Names: 2. Full Address 3.City 4. Zip 5.Country 6.Telephone No.

Should you expedite action, you are requested to contact our receiving officer; Rev. Soso Maxwell
Email Address: ukdhlcourier01@mail2uk.com
Tel: +44-703-198-2672
Fax: +44-709-288-9285

You will be given a tracking number, routine way bill and the date of delivery as soon your contact with us to enable you track your package via online.

Yours Faithfully,
Sister Mary Wright,
Customer Service Center.
© 2008.


Dear Sister Mary Wright,

Thank you so much for giving us this money! We are very happy with it! I have 3 children, 2 girls and 1 boy. One girl has a very expensive operation coming up (she has an earwax problem caused by a sharkbite) and me and my wife are underinsured so we could really use the money. In fact we are a little short even with the $ 600,000, because our 2 suns are Siamese twins with 2 bodies but only one head, so we need to save some money for a head transplant. We can't thank you enough, we didn't even participate in this lottery and still we have won, that's really incredible!

Could you send us complementary to the $ 600,000 another $ 1,400,000 so we can buy a new head for one of our sons on Ebay? We have seen a really nice one, it looks a bit like Billy Bob Thornton so we think he will be a real ladykiller when the operation is done. I do hope that he can keep the second penis growing out of his neck. It smells a little funny sometimes but it looks so cool on him!

If you can confirm the $ 2,000,000 will be on our account before the end of the month I assure you I will transfer the £ 250 as soon as possible. My wife is having some doubts on this, but I am sure everything will be alright. Just like a couple of weeks ago when a kind Nigerian gentleman bought my Ipod mini (2GB) for £ 300, because Apple is having some legal issues in Nigeria so Ipods aren't being sold there. I shipped the Ipod and Mbuku Shiofufu told me I will receive a cheque any minute now. This money will of course also be used for medical purposes. After giving labour to the Siamese twins my wife's vagina kind of stretched to maybe 12" and now she needs a couple of stitches so I can make us another baby.

Well, I'm sure we will get the money because this month I also didn't buy a lottery ticket which means a big chance on winning a price with your lottery.

With kind regards,
Johan

PS Wouldn't it be easier if I give you my login and password to my online banking? You can transfer the money anywhere you like before giving me the $ 2,000,000.